Really writing.

Darn it, I'm going to do it this time.

I'm tired of being in the working-for-someone-else world, even marginally...

I want to make some income, while I'm at home with the kids.

My definition of "making a living" isn't the same as everyone else's. I have no idea what the "standard" is to consider yourself as making a living writing, or living off that income...

But my work-income is very low. If I could replace that, on a somewhat regular basis, I'd be perfectly happy.

Seriously. I'm talking 12 hours a week at $9 an hour. That's $108 a week. $5616 a year. I'm not really asking for all that much.

Is that possible? Probably, with effort. Can I do it? Well, it depends. Can I make myself just put the damn words on the page? We're going to find out. Right here, right now, hopefully with God's help and grace.

I've wanted this so long... but I've wanted it without doing anything to make it happen. I've been afraid to try. It's time to stop being afraid, and to try, try, try, try. My bar to measure success is this is pretty darn low, compared to a lot of people's... it's worth a try. And it could make me very, very happy, and a lot more satisfied with myself and what I've accomplished in my life.

Right now, I'm pretty darn proud of my kids. So I think I've done a decent job raising them so far... but that's ALL I feel like I've accomplished in my life.

So anyways... I'd absolutely love if I could say I'd "finished" something by my birthday. I'm going with a rather general 60,000 goal. Knowing that I tend to write long, it may quite well end up longer - but right now, smaller, more achievable goals are a good thing.

I'd hoped for a word goal closer to 250 words/day...

The numbers on this goal:
60,000 / 112 days = 536 words a day, 7 days a week
or 751 words, 5 days a week.

So that's the optimistic, it'd be nice if, scenario. Honestly, though, I'll be happy if I can just put down 250 words. That's what my baseline rule is... i HAVE to write that many, whether they suck or not. Just put them on the darn paper and leave them there.

Today so far, there are 379. Don't know if there are going to be any more or not. But at least, it's a start. It's admitting that I have to do something, and I have to do it NOW.

As a side note, this is well over 400 words long already... why is it so easy to do this, and so darn hard to write something that I know I want to eventually submit for publication?